I wrote this piece a week ago and it has been ready to post since then; edited, checked, systematic review, but you know its only alright. It was a tough write because I wrote it during the day, phone on and beeping, call to the door, the odd chore to do. But I stayed focused and I got it done, then hesitation kicked in, couldn’t post it, for a week!, I don’t know why?
So I’m now imagining a discussion with my inner mind… ‘It’s done, just post it!’ But inner mind just says ‘No’. Okay, I’m thinking, instead of judging myself for not being consistent, diligent, focused etc, I decide to sit still and listen to the inner mind, and I ask again without judgement ‘Why am I hesitating about posting this? I wrote such a nice little piece, whats the problem?’ The answer ‘You wrote it during the day…its boring!’ Seriously?, I wonder why my inner mind often sounds like a teenager having a strop, I feel it might have something to do with it not being listened to. So I ask teenage me, ‘tell me why my day time writing is boring’. Inner mind relaxes and I imagine an elderly voice emerge and clearly explaining ‘during the day you are far too aware of ‘others’ and how they are going to react to your writing. You write from the viewpoint of someone you think doesn’t like you, who’s judging your writing, and your trying to not step out of line. It’s neat and safe and you know…boring!’ Interesting I muse, and I go to re-read the piece I wrote with this insight in mind.
And yip its pretty awful! I know the point I was trying to explain, but its a bit vague, and uncertain, So I choose between re-writing the whole thing or just collapse it into bullet points, cleaning it up in a sense. Science mind wins and bullet points it is, see if this works better for you teenage me:
- On sat 15th Sept I went to Harvey’s Point to host Yoga at a Wellness Day with foodie and fellow surfer Finn Ni Fhaolain
- On this day as I set up the room I was battling some of my own inner demons and I found myself wondering what demons some of these ladies attending our day retreat might be battling.
- In any case, I allowed my own worries to drift away and let the warmth of a Harvey’s Point welcome sooth me into the moment. Genuinely the nicest staff to work with, friendly, helpful, hands-on and professional. Decision to self, come up here for lunch with my mother, definitely.
- The theme I had chosen for the day was the concept of ‘being enough’. To change perspective slightly and to realize that you do not need to do more. That sometimes you just need to fuel yourself better so that when the chores are done you have some energy left to enjoy being you.
- We flowed through a gentle vinyasa sequence that opened the body, just enough, to allow the breath to go deeper into joints and tissues. Explaining the calming and nourishing effect this also has on the nervous system.
- We then all gathered around Finn as she shared and demonstrated her genius alternative recipes. Replacing wheat and sugar in such simple and nearly ‘obvious’ ways that you were left thinking ‘of course I’m going to do that’. And I have, and I am right now;-D
- So I came away from Harvey’s point quite content and so inspired. I’ve known for years I have a wheat intolerance, but recently discovered a dairy intolerance. So I arrived in the head space of grieving all the foods I have to cut out. On returning home I was giddy about all the wonderful nourishing and tasty foods that I was going to introduce my body to.
- The demons I mentioned earlier weren’t the food demons however and they were not miraculously gone! But as I sat renewed, inspired and refueled, I knew it was now safe for me to be still and allow these dark thoughts to bubble up. I listened to them, I analysed, I cried. And then I started to see answers. They were there, like little sparkles of light that I couldn’t see before but were now burning brightly thanks to fresh fuel.
- I slept like a teenager that night, and on Sunday, the Havin’ a Laugh charity that I run executed three epic eco-adventures. Kayaking, horse-riding and trail-running to remote stretches of coastline and bagging over 20 bags of litter.
- I felt wonderful that Sunday morning, we got in our kayaks and made the crossing to Dernish Island. This is an Island, a land, I’ve never been to before, nor have many, and the short crossing caused me to wonder at the indulgence of having the space and time to clean up what lies ahead when so much of life is spent just tidying whats left behind.
My take home thought from Harvey’s Point Wellness Day was simple. The better we get at fueling ourselves for the work we have to do, the more joy we will get from the time we have off. Whether that time is spent cleaning out the emotional closet, indulging in the beauty of the present moment or clearing a path for your next adventure, with the right fuel you can be in-joy with every process. What is my present moment? Writing freely well after dark and returning to that teenage indulgence of eating breakfast in the evening, both good fuels for my soul, or so the voices say;-D